There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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