what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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