Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
