Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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