she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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