She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
