Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
