sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
