life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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