Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
