I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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