Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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