If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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