the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
how does that bad decision feel?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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