I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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