I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
where am i from again
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
