he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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