Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
