could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
