He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize