i would punch a child for taco bell
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
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