Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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