brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize