she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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