All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
