remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
