I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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