I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
