TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
