Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize