Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
