Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
