Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
