Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
