Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize