just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
