This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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