so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
