dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
