oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
