He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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