If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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