Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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