If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Two words: nipple clamps
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