if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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