Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
