I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize