Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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