whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
