im about as happy as oj after his trial
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
