I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
