Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
