stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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