I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
There's even glitter on my cock...
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