God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
