Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize