Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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