Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
