before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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