yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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